Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize