Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
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Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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