So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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