We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
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My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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