Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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