yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
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I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
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Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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