Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

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  (630): between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before http://tfl.nu/2m53
  Replies (45) Good night (522) Bad night (4792)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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  (732): no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in http://tfl.nu/h08n
  Replies (6) Good night (5510) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

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  (314): Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there. http://tfl.nu/ndt3
  Replies (24) Good night (4827) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.

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  (330): theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that. http://tfl.nu/wccj
  Replies (11) Good night (5241) Bad night (2196) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

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  (304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www
  Replies (42) Good night (1620) Bad night (14110) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.

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  (780): She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever. http://tfl.nu/i189
  Replies (61) Good night (1615) Bad night (10905) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw

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  (717): looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw http://tfl.nu/7d00
  Replies (5) Good night (3393) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips

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  (217): I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips http://tfl.nu/378x
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

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  (781): Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe (617): Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything http://tfl.nu/wlv3
  Replies (12) Good night (1939) Bad night (520)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god she just threw up on her dog

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  (804): I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for (804): Oh my god she just threw up on her dog http://tfl.nu/gcjh
  Replies (6) Good night (759) Bad night (1219)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.

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  (607): I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight. http://tfl.nu/mq74
  Replies (14) Good night (2195) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.

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  (706): My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up. http://tfl.nu/hq93
  Replies (16) Good night (1354) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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  (917): Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am. http://tfl.nu/94x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1196) Bad night (401)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover

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  (815): Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover http://tfl.nu/dbpl
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.

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  (334): Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots. http://tfl.nu/hhuz
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt

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