My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize