Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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