pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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