dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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