White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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