so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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