he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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