I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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