i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize