were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
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the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
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So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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