i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize