My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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