I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize