i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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