Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize