Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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