and you said cock pushups were impossible
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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