I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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