How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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