I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sext me about skeletons
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize