Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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