I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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