Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
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