I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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