hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
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Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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