I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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