Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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