Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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