it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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