It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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