Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize