So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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