I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's Friday. Sex?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize