i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
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Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
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Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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