Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize