Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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