The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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