That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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