she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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