Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

(217): View more from Illinois

Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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(708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8

Replies (2) Good night (1085) Bad night (371)
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(503): View more from Oregon

i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking

(1-503): View more from Oregon

I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning

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(503): i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking (1-503): I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning http://tfl.nu/mjdo

Replies (14) Good night (4654) Bad night (639)
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(210): View more from Texas

this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.

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(210): this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life. http://tfl.nu/lflc

Replies (37) Good night (4911) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word

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(513): Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word http://tfl.nu/dxvq

Replies (57) Good night (4109) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox

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(904): I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox http://tfl.nu/xijk

Replies (15) Good night (3428) Bad night (1213) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes

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(920): I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes http://tfl.nu/1teg

Replies (8) Good night (4140) Bad night (652)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

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(778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT. http://tfl.nu/jn8b

Replies (17) Good night (1143) Bad night (4061) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.

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(513): Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through. http://tfl.nu/9dxn

Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (1602) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.

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(310): He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/0w0d

Replies (12) Good night (1414) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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(919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re

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(515): View more from Iowa

Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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(515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2

Replies (4) Good night (1454) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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(940): View more from Texas

Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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(940): Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?! http://tfl.nu/l6ig

Replies (5) Good night (232) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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(574): View more from Indiana

He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.

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(574): He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle. http://tfl.nu/u8g2

Replies (4) Good night (257) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....

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(403): Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on.... http://tfl.nu/blut

Replies (0) Good night (245) Bad night (579)
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(614): View more from Ohio

She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.

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(614): She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win. http://tfl.nu/wvwz

Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (116)

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