physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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