I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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