haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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